Saturday, October 17, 2009

Whats been going on!

Well...Lets start with Ray and I are having another baby. Yea Due Jan 20th 2010. Were excited and so is Tesla. She loves babies and cant wait till she has a brother or sister. Were not finding out what were having until the end so it will be a surprise. Yeah! Well right now im not working and its driving me crazy I got laid off from Crest in June and Im still pissed about it. They laid me off by lieing to me and that made me very upset. Ive been looking for work sense but there nothing out there. I cant find a freaking job. And then to top it off my dad took my car I loved so much so now im jobless and carless. Nice isnt it. Its like this year Im just heading to hell. So I hope that next year is alot better. I really am stressed out with not having a job and no money cause Christmas is coming up and Im broke. Im really sick of living like this. Ray does his best. And hes a great dad. Were trying to make us work. Ray cheated on me in June and that really hurt me plus it stuck in my head so now I have trust problems with him. But who wouldnt right. Im trying to give him a second chance and get over it but its hard. Were both not perfect. So we both have stuff to work on. Well other than all that drama and horrible crap Telsa is getting big, shes 20 months old. She talks like crazy and tries to use the pottey. Shes very smart and fun to be around. She does have a spicy additude tho.HAHA But thats ok cause I still love her. Thats pretty much everything.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

HAHAHA Get this

So Ravon and I are having alot of problems as most of you all know. Well Im moving out the end of the month to go live with my mom until I get my own place. Im really not sure if we will get back together in the long run. Right now I can tell you we wont. Alot has happened in the last few weeks that have changed my mind about him. Well so now he is going to see his kids that live in OK, and he wants to take Tesla... WHO WILL BE ONE TOMORROW.... YUPPIE... With him. I told him no and now he is way pissed at me. I dont think she needs to go to a place she wont even remember and pluss she gets freaked out easy and I dont want her to be scared the whole time. Now maybe if I was going but Im not. I just have a bad feeling and im not letting her go. Am I wrong or crazy. I know hes a good dad and all but shes just to small. I dont know what to think. But I do know that my daughter means the world to me and Im not ganna have her away from me and being scared. I would wont to be there with her so she knows shes safe.

Friday, March 6, 2009

UGH Ray got laid off today

So, Ray got laid off today...It happens! They told him " Well care is loosing money so were closing down, Dont come in monday"! And they laid everyone off also so it wasnt just Ray. OH goodness. Well any who... Thats not stoping me from going on my trip to Virginia. I need a vacation.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

IM LOOSING WEIGHT

Hey so remember how Im trying to loose weight? Well its working. Ive been working out everyday. And I have lost 17 lbs and 4 inches around my waste. Ive been also working out on my WII FIT and let me tell you... it works. I wanted to look good my the summer. But now Im making me a goal to look good by April. I would like to loose about 13 more pounds and I know that if I keep doing a good job with my working out everday and eating better than I can do it! Im so excited. And the more it starts to show that Im loosing weight and the more my body changes makes me want to work harder for my goal. I can tell when I look in the mirror now that my tummy is smaller and my arms are also. And also when I put on my pants there getting baggy and I have to tighten my belt more. Its such a GREAT feeling. Will see if I reach my goal by April. I would like to be 170-175 by then. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Im so unhappy

Ive been thinking alot lately and Im fixin to move out. Im ready to be happy again and not deal with all crap that I have to deal with. Im just tired of fighting all the time. Life sucks you know. Its all the same everyday and it makes me so unhappy. Ravon thinks its a joke and Im tired of him acting like that. Its not fun, I dont think Ive been happy sense the first time him and I met. That was over a year ago. You know what? Thats sad.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

IM SO EXCITED

SO... Theres this house that was up for sale in August that I looked at and feel inlove with, its a really old house but it has style. Its 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, it has a basement and its so cute. I know it needs alittle work but what old house doesnt. The back yard is way big and Im so inlove.... Well yesterday Ravon came home and told me they put my favorite house that I love so much up RENT TO OWN...!!! At first I was like what house??? And he said the one you love so much, i know right away what he was saying. So he called on it...And were meeting with the guy today!!! There only asking for 900 a month... Thats it. And with Ravons brother moving in with us 900 is ganna be easy and we also need the space. OH my I hope we can get this house....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The past two weeks

So its crazy. Telsa turnned 10 months on sunday the 25th. Last week she started walking. I said Tes come here sweety and she was just standing there. Well she just started walking. It was great. I loved it, I couldnt believe it. Im so excited!!! But I know now that she will walk every where and then get into things but she already does that. HAHA. So now Tesla walks. Also she has a couple new words She likes to say "Drink Mom" and also "Me". I think its so freaking cute. The other morining she woke up and grabed her sippy cup, it didnt have anything in it so she say " drink mom", so I handed her some milk and she takes a drink and says " ah thanks". Shes just getting so smart. Ok one more thing about Telsa she tries to dress herself and she gets so mad when she cant figure out how to get things on, so she throws them and then grabs something new and tries again. Oh lol... I almost forgot, she also started saying " Bye-Bye". Its great!

Ok So something happened today that I was hoping for. The truth came out. Somebody really close to me lied to another person very close to me. So the girl that talked crap and lied to one of my bestfriends I stopped talking to. And the guy that is my bestfriend believed all the things she said, so I just stopped talking to them both because I knew the truth would come out soonier or later and it finally did today. Now he knows all of it was lies he told me sorry, I forgave him and she has to live with herself. Im glad that the truth came out. Ive been waiting for this day. And Im very happy that it happened so soon.

Today was a great day. So was the week I guess you could say. Ive been working alot, Im hoping to get caught up on my bills and get some new clothes. I should be getting my taxes back soon and I really wont to get somethings for Tesla. I love working my job isnt bad and the girls I work with are great, its like were a big family. I cant wait to go shopping... yeah Well thats pretty much it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ive lost 10 pounds

YIPPIE! So you know how I started working out at the first of the month well its been almost 3 weeks and I have lost 10 pounds. Im so excited only 40 more to go. That seems like alot and it kind of is. But I just feel GREAT that Ive atleast lost some weight already. Its such a good feeling and it makes me excited to loose more and work out more. YEAH Im finally doing it. I just know if I keep this up ill be back down to size my summer and then im going to the pool.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

LIfe aint easy

You know sometimes I get so stressed because its like no matter what I never have enough money I work my butt off ( hard to believe because its still there). And in the end I have nothing to show for it. I hate that. I work all these hours pay the bills and if Im lucky have a dollar to my name. Do you know how much that suck? My daughter is almost one and I cant even get her a High Chair. Its so frustrating. I get angry about money I just wish I had a couple hundred extra a month that I could save up. That would mean getting a second job and never spending any time with my daughter. Its already hard enough to work what Im working but I guess will be better in the end. I need to think that would I like to sit at home and wish I had her a new high chair or work another job and get her one. Right? I dunno this is just how I feel. Ugh... Money... I wish it grew on trees.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

How I feel

So I've been thinking alot lately about how I feel about myself. And to tell you the truth I'm not happy with the way I look. It's hard after having a baby and getting back to your weight before, I love having my daughter but I don't love the new me. I'm working on getting back to what I weighed when I got pregnant. And I know that alot of people say you will never look the same as you did before you had a child but Im not asking to look like I did before my baby, just what I weighed before her. I have alot of work to do.
Ive never been the type to really care what I looked like because I always felt good about myself. Ive never fit in a size 6 because that would of been nasty a girl who is 5'11" in a size 6 thats way skinny. I looked good in my clothes no muffin tops and I fit in everything I have, I always had something to wear because the stuff fit. I look back now at my pictures before my daughter and see how flat my tummy was, how small my legs and arms were. And I really never knew that I looked like that. That I was skinny, not to skinny and held myself well. I always thought differant. I now look at myself, in the mirror or a picture and I go " eww", I cant believe thats me, its sad. I cant fit in any of my clothes, I hate getting dressed. I look at other women and wish I could look like them, I have never done this, ever! No body knows how much I way and I know that people cant believe I way 225...because Im tall and it doesnt show. I was 170 when I got pregnant. And now Im over 200 pounds. Thats sick! In my eyes anyway. Im tired of looking and feeling fat, or over weight, So Im ganna do something about it. Im laying of the junk food and cutting down on the Dr Pepper ( i could say thats what my butt it made of ). Im ganna start working out 2-3 times a week to start, no matter how tired I am. And Im going to loose 50 POUNDS, by the summer time. Look and feel great. Ill keep everyone updated. Ive also posted a picture of me before I had my daughter and after. So you all can see the transfer... Wish me luck

Monday, January 5, 2009

Any Ideas

So Im very new at this blogging site. And if anyone has Ideas for me Id love to hear them. But other than that, Im glad that I finally got one. Now If I could figure it out. haha

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Are first Christmas

It was so much fun having Christmas because it was are first one as a whole family. Tesla just loved playing in all the decorations even tho all she tried really doing is eating everything. We all had alot of fun. Christmas morning was way fun and I know that when she gets bigger it will be much more fun. But she was so excited to open her presents. She had no problem getting the paper off them, but Im sure you can guess, Yup thats it... trying to eat it. Laughs